What’s your secret? Hmmm? What is it? You don’t have one, you say?
Bull.
I cry ‘Liar!’.
Everyone has a secret.
This is due to 2 statements that can sum up a large portion of the human psyche. The first is this; Man (under normal circumstances) has morals that are ingrained upon him from the time of infancy to his present state.
We all make decisions based upon what we believe. Most persons in the United States of America have a ‘me first’ attitude, wherein every decision is made to maximize any gain and minimize any loss. Even children, when tested, reveal this trait. However, this is not to say that man will forsake his peers every time that the opportunity presents itself. Because of these morals which have been introduced throughout a lifetime, man has been taught to consider others in his decision making. So decisions will not always be from a perspective of every-man-for-himself, but rather a conglomerate of compassion and selfishness.
The second statement is this; Because man is a thinking being, ever yearning for enlightenment, self-betterment, self-control, and freedom, he desires to break the rules.
Ever get that high? Not a drug or alcohol induced high, but the other kind. The high that you get when you do something taboo. Have you smoked or drank when it was illegal for you to do so? Stolen a candy bar? Told a fib? These things all release endorphins (the natural, body-produced chemical that causes a feeling of happiness) into the brain. For some reason, breaking rules causes us to feel good.
When you combine these two factors, you get a dilemma of the moral sort. On one hand, you have the desire to do ‘good’ (what you have been told is right and expected), but you also experience the desire to to ‘bad’ (what you have been told is wrong or inappropriate).
This will inevitably lead to a ‘bad’ decision at some point or another. The results of which are guilt and shame. Sometimes the negative feelings can be so powerful, so intense, and so overwhelming that we feel we cannot tell anyone.
Perhaps we are afraid to tell people because we are afraid of what people would think of us. After all, human beings are naturally going to fail and make bad choices, but society has a disillusioned view of itself. We all view eachother as being better than ourselves. Go ahead, say that sentence aloud. It sounds funny, doesn’t it? In layman’s terms, each person believes that they are not as good as their neighbor, family member, or friend. Everyone is afraid to tell their secret, sometimes even to their closest friend, for fear of being judged. Because as human beings, we have been granted the right to judge our fellow man on every little detail of his life. That, at least, is the general misconception of society. The sad part is this; you can have a secret, just like everyone else. And nobody will tell their secrets, for fear of being judged. And because of the fear of being judged, we cannot learn to deal with and accept our secrets.
Our secrets make up who we are. We all know the phrase “no pain, no gain!”. Normally, this is applied to physical tasks or weight training. However, it also applies to secrets. Think about it. Think of your secret. Yes, your deepest, darkest secret. Find the closet that you hid it in. Dig through the excuses that you piled on top of it. Brush off the dust that time has allowed to gather. Open that secret. Say it aloud to yourself.
It hurts, doesn’t it? Or does it? Can you think of anything that you have learned, due to aquiring that secret? For me, I learned that I have to set up personal boundaries in regards to other people. I have learned to stand up for myself, and fight my own battles. I know from personal experience that my secret teaches me new things almost every day. My secret has helped me help others. I can remember what it was like to be in their shoes. I can warn them of certain dangers. My secret has helped me become who I am. I am stronger for it.
If we avoid our secrets, burying them deep within us, never dealing with them, always letting them subtly rule our decisions, we will never grow. If we don’t allow ourselves to work through our secrets (which is a daily uphill battle), we can never use our secret to help others. The foolhardy seem to think that revealing their secret to all, telling everyone that they meet, will make the world a better place. This just makes them look stupid, or easy, or like a helpless victim. The wise are the ones who tell their secret in private, to help someone with a similar predicament.
We must all strive to come to terms with our secrets. If we don’t, societies will continue to crumble under a barrage of hatred, malice, vengeance, and betrayal.
